All of us will experience a narcissistic person at some point in our lives. He/she will be the Bravado or high achiever type. They will be the showman or woman holding center of attention in the room. Visible immediately. Audible immediately. They will always claim to be right. They do not take comments well, often quick to view feedback as criticism. They don’t like to be told what to do. They have big egos.
If you dare to scratch that big bravado outer shell, you will see that underneath the bravado, is a deeply vulnerable, sensitive person who dearly needs love and approval. Childhood was probably brutal for them. They may have had to take on a parent role at a young age and therefore taken on more responsibility than a child ought to. They may have had to take care of their parent at a young age.
So deep inside lies a wounded child needing to be nourished, needing to be seen.
The key to dealing with a narcissistic adult is: Gentle communication with a mantra in your field, “No contest, No war, Peace at all times”. Feel your feet firmly on the ground and send your energy downwards. Take long slow, deep breaths. Listen to them, build trust and let any competitive energy simply die down. This does not mean be a doormat, but choose your battles carefully, and reach out for neutral support when you need it.
Remember, deep down inside ‘narcissists’ are good, loyal, brave people who were used as children rather than nourished and encouraged.
Finding your balance between speaking your truth, holding your boundaries and listening to the underlying needs of both parties are all challenges that a healing session with Karen could be helpful for.
Did you know?
Wales has the daffodil as its national emblem – it is traditionally worn on St David’s Day.
The name comes from the Greek legend of a handsome young man named Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection in a stream and remained there to admire it. When he succumbed to starvation because of his fixation the gods transformed him into a flower so he could remain at the side of the stream forever.
Know that YOU MATTER.